Many things have happened since I saw you last. First things first, Lil Bean came early at 37 weeks! I had to have a C-section as the placenta had stopped working. Imagine.. on my checkup the previous Thursday, Lil Bean was 2.7kg. The following Monday, his weight dropped to 2.4kg. Needless to say, Fella and I were darn scared. We were told to admit ourselves to the hospital immediately. We were stunned, scared but excited cos finally the long weight was over. Lil Bean was coming!
After lunch, we made our way to the hospital. My hospital bag was already in the car. We got our room, and soon were on the way to the labour room to monitor Lil Bean's heartbeat. The Good Doctor said that if Lil Bean's heartbeat was not how it was supposed to be, it would have to be an emergency C-section. Only God knew how I felt at that time. I rubbed my belly, and whispered to Lil Bean to be strong. Thank God his heartbeat was normal! The C-section was then scheduled for the next day, which was a Tuesday.
Back in the room, I realised that I had only packed a change of clothes for fella! I had prepared my stuff and Lil Bean's stuff, and totally forgot about Fella's stuff! Sorry, hon. Fella went home to pick up more clothes. My parents and sister came by to show their support and promised to come again the next day.
That night Fella and I held each other, nervous and excited. We talked to Lil Bean, and told him that we love him and that we'll see each other soon. Just come out healthy.
The next day, as I was wheeled into the OT, many thoughts were racing in my head. The Good Doctor had warned us before this that Lil Bean would come out when I was at 37 weeks, but we were trying to negotiate to deliver at 38 weeks. Boleh tak? The reason was because we were supposed to move into our new house, and I wanted to get most of the things done before I delivered. Needless to say, the Good Doctor was not amused. Thinking back, I think he knew that Lil Bean was in distress.. he just didn't want to alarm us.
As I went down that stark hallway, I prayed to God to please keep Lil Bean safe. Let him be born healthy.
Fella came into the OT just after they administered the local anaesthetic. I would be conscious throughout the delivery - I just wouldn't feel any pain. Fella sat next to me and held my hand. We couldn't see the procedure as a curtain blocked our view.
Sure enough, I felt no pain, although I could feel some light tugging. The nurse holding my other hand told me to be ready, Lil Bean was coming out soon. Fella and I looked at each other. He mouthed "I love you" and kissed my hand.
Then, a flurry of activity. Suddenly I heard the sweetest sound I've ever heard; Lil Bean's cry. Immediately tears welled up in my eyes. Fella looked at me, teary eyed as well and squeezed my hand. My baby's finally here!
Fella had brought in his DSLR. He had taken photos of me during the procedure, and was about to take the most important shot of all. Lil Bean's first ever photo. He got that first shot - Lil Bean's face all scrunched up, umbilical cord freshly cut. Even now, it's the most gorgeous photo I have ever seen.
They cleaned Lil Bean up and handed him to Fella, to recite the azan in his ears. Then, they handed him to me. My Lil Boy. I gave him a kiss as I looked at his face for the very first time. Alhamdulillah, syukur kepada Allah. My Boy was perfect.
My Lil Boy came to this world on 1 December 2009. He weighed just 2.42kg. The Good Doctor told me that we were just in time. Had we waited just a few more days, he would have been in distress and in danger.
I thanked Allah for giving me a gorgeous and healthy son. I couldn't believe how in love I am with this boy I had only laid eyes on a few minutes ago. The long wait was well worth it.
Maybe I'll tell you more about Lil Boy another day.
For now, all I want to do is to just kiss him.
