Babies Everywhere!

It's baby season all around me! Photos of adorable little babies are flooding my FB, and while I am so happy that my friends are blessed with these gorgeous little beings, I can't help but feel down that a second one doesn't seem to be on the way yet for me.

Truthfully, I can guess why I am not yet privileged to receive this gift. And seeing my Lil' Boy reminds me every day how I am truly blessed to be his Mommy and I hope that I don't mess him up in the future! I can't believe how much I love him, and I am eternally thankful to the Almighty for giving me such a sweet, friendly and gorgeous boy, with a smile so radiant, and a laugh so bubbly. Even writing this makes me miss him so much, although he's just a few feet away from me, playing on the lawn!

Still, my heart just aches for another baby. I hope I am able to give my Lil' Boy a Lil' Sibling some day. In the meantime, I'll just smother him with kisses and thank God every day for this wonderful boy.

Approaching the big ONE!

Hi all! Sorry for the long silence. Been so preoccupied with my Lil' Boy and business. We've finally moved house, although, technically, we're still staying at my parents' at the moment. We really hope we'll move in before Lil' Boy's first birthday.

That's right. My Lil' Boy is gonna be ONE! That means, a year ago, I was feeling Lil' Bean (as he was then!), kicking my inner bits. I was also seeing the Good Doctor around the same amount as Fella. And Fella and I were going crazy shopping for Lil' Bean's arrival.

I still can't believe that Lil' Boy is here. I thank Allah every day for giving him to me, and hope I am able to provide Lil' Boy with everything he needs untuk dunia dan akhirat (in life and beyond). I am engulfed with love every time I see his face; his sweet smile, his cheeky grin, his quizzical look and even his cranky expressions. I love his amazement over his hands, especially his realisation that he can move his wrists (which he does so often!), his dinosaur growls, his bubbly laugh.. There are no words to describe how much I love this Boy. Even now, I'm watching him sleep as I write this, and all I wanna do is just snuggle up to him and smother him with kisses!

Fella and I are hoping to throw his first birthday party next month - maybe Aqiqah, cukur jambul, naik buai and doa selamat in the morning, and a party in the evening. A lot of planning needs to be done, and so many friends and family to invite, as so many people helped pray for Lil' Boy to come into our lives, and the least we could do is to share this special occasion with them.

For me, though, I can't believe Lil' Boy is gonna be one in less than two weeks' time. Time flies so fast! He's also growing up so fast, with sprouting teeth like there's no tomorrow, and trying to start walking. On one hand, I want him to be my baby forever, but on the other hand, there's so much I want him to experience and explore, and I can't wait for those moments to come! So I guess I'll just have to let nature take its course, and enjoy Lil' Boy while he's still lil'!

And maybe it's now time for another lil' one? :)

The Arrival of Lil Bean

Many things have happened since I saw you last. First things first, Lil Bean came early at 37 weeks! I had to have a C-section as the placenta had stopped working. Imagine.. on my checkup the previous Thursday, Lil Bean was 2.7kg. The following Monday, his weight dropped to 2.4kg. Needless to say, Fella and I were darn scared. We were told to admit ourselves to the hospital immediately. We were stunned, scared but excited cos finally the long weight was over. Lil Bean was coming!

After lunch, we made our way to the hospital. My hospital bag was already in the car. We got our room, and soon were on the way to the labour room to monitor Lil Bean's heartbeat. The Good Doctor said that if Lil Bean's heartbeat was not how it was supposed to be, it would have to be an emergency C-section. Only God knew how I felt at that time. I rubbed my belly, and whispered to Lil Bean to be strong. Thank God his heartbeat was normal! The C-section was then scheduled for the next day, which was a Tuesday.

Back in the room, I realised that I had only packed a change of clothes for fella! I had prepared my stuff and Lil Bean's stuff, and totally forgot about Fella's stuff! Sorry, hon. Fella went home to pick up more clothes. My parents and sister came by to show their support and promised to come again the next day.

That night Fella and I held each other, nervous and excited. We talked to Lil Bean, and told him that we love him and that we'll see each other soon. Just come out healthy.

The next day, as I was wheeled into the OT, many thoughts were racing in my head. The Good Doctor had warned us before this that Lil Bean would come out when I was at 37 weeks, but we were trying to negotiate to deliver at 38 weeks. Boleh tak? The reason was because we were supposed to move into our new house, and I wanted to get most of the things done before I delivered. Needless to say, the Good Doctor was not amused. Thinking back, I think he knew that Lil Bean was in distress.. he just didn't want to alarm us.

As I went down that stark hallway, I prayed to God to please keep Lil Bean safe. Let him be born healthy.

Fella came into the OT just after they administered the local anaesthetic. I would be conscious throughout the delivery - I just wouldn't feel any pain. Fella sat next to me and held my hand. We couldn't see the procedure as a curtain blocked our view.

Sure enough, I felt no pain, although I could feel some light tugging. The nurse holding my other hand told me to be ready, Lil Bean was coming out soon. Fella and I looked at each other. He mouthed "I love you" and kissed my hand.

Then, a flurry of activity. Suddenly I heard the sweetest sound I've ever heard; Lil Bean's cry. Immediately tears welled up in my eyes. Fella looked at me, teary eyed as well and squeezed my hand. My baby's finally here!

Fella had brought in his DSLR. He had taken photos of me during the procedure, and was about to take the most important shot of all. Lil Bean's first ever photo. He got that first shot - Lil Bean's face all scrunched up, umbilical cord freshly cut. Even now, it's the most gorgeous photo I have ever seen.

They cleaned Lil Bean up and handed him to Fella, to recite the azan in his ears. Then, they handed him to me. My Lil Boy. I gave him a kiss as I looked at his face for the very first time. Alhamdulillah, syukur kepada Allah. My Boy was perfect.

My Lil Boy came to this world on 1 December 2009. He weighed just 2.42kg. The Good Doctor told me that we were just in time. Had we waited just a few more days, he would have been in distress and in danger.

I thanked Allah for giving me a gorgeous and healthy son. I couldn't believe how in love I am with this boy I had only laid eyes on a few minutes ago. The long wait was well worth it.

Maybe I'll tell you more about Lil Boy another day.

For now, all I want to do is to just kiss him.

8.5 Weeks & Counting..

The third trimester is already here, and without realising, I have only about 8.5 weeks to go till Lil Bean is born.. How time flies..

I'm getting scared and excited at the same time. Sometimes I just can't wait for Lil Bean to arrive, but then I get so scared because I'm nowhere near prepared to welcome Lil Bean into this world:

1) The new house isn't anywhere near ready to move into
2) I haven't even started packing
3) Our total number of baby stuff is 6 rompers, 1 hoodie and 1 cute cow bottle Fella bought in Geneva (this includes the 1 romper & hoodie which I've misplaced!)
4) I've only just started reading up on labour and contractions
5) I know squat about everything else!

Then I get all excited again when I see Lil Bean's little face in 3D. We did a 3D scan recently, and though Lil Bean was shy at first, we finally managed to see such a cute face at the end (my chin & Fella's nose!). Now it's my wallpaper everywhere, and I can just stare at that picture all day.

Can't wait too see you my little darling!

Happy Weekend!

Last weekend was full of happy news and food. On 07.08.09 my sis gave birth to an adorable baby boy (who is still nameless at this point in time), and my BIL got hitched!

My newly married BIL is fella's youngest brother, and the last to get married. His wife was his Form 2 sweetheart (sweet, kan?). Alhamdulillah, so many relatives, neighbours and friends came to the wedding held at the family home in Gombak, and fella, especially, only managed to sit down at 4pm. I, on the other hand, sat whenever I could, because Lil Bean either was very excited or very annoyed by the crowd, or the fact that I was walking around, because, boy, did it kick me furiously!

BTW, I'm now 21 weeks pregnant, still not showing so much, but Lil Bean is doing its best to make its presence known. I still don't know if Lil Bean is a he or she, but I'm happy with either, although most of the baby names I've picked out have already been chosen by friends and family.

My new nephew came by way of c-section at 3.18pm, although my brother was advocating for the nicer time of 12:34:56 on 7.8.09. He looks like his brother Elijaz, although he's fair like Elixir. Unfortunately, I only managed to see him once as my time was entirely devoted to BIL's wedding, so hopefully I'll see more of him when he comes home.

Unfortunately, with the happy news comes the bad news (at least for me!). The weekend ended with a very sore back for me, and yesterday was spent sleeping and resting. Thankfully, today I feel much better, and I think Lil Bean is too, because its kicks aren't that hard anymore.

Till next time then!

A Note To My Dad

Abah,

Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for all the love and opportunities, and blind eyes towards my many 'misadventures'.

Thanks for putting family first. Thanks for never making us want for anything. Thanks for the wonderful partnership you have with Mak in making our childhood and lives filled with love and laughter.

Sorry I wasn't the model child (and still aren't!). Sorry for all the grief I've ever caused. Sorry for not making enough time to spend with you and Mak, believe me I'm trying to change all that. Thanks for loving me anyway despite all these.

Thank you for being my Dad. Happy Father's Day!

A Birthday I Won't Forget :)

It's my birthday today and I received the best gift I could ever get.

Today, around the same time I was born 34 years ago, I saw my Little Bean's arms and legs for the first time. The Little Bean was moving and squirming, probably wondering where he/she is, 'cos the Little Bean was, according to the Good Doctor, scratching its little head quite a bit.

I am now 10 1/2 weeks' pregnant, my first pregnancy after nearly 8 years of marriage. So far the pregnancy has been good. I haven't thrown up at all, having very mild morning sickness, and only having short bouts of nausea.

I have a feeling my Little Bean will actually not be so little, judging from the amount of unhealthy food I've been shovelling into my mouth for the past few weeks. The closest thing I've had to vegetables are mashed/baked/fried potatoes and coleslaw (eek!). One good thing is that I eat less food in each serving, but I need more servings than usual, so this kinda negates the first statement.

I've been feeling rather lethargic, which I think is both caused by the pregnancy as well as the terrible hot weather we've been having lately, and have been denied exercise by the Good Doctor, so I feel like a beached whale most of the time. Heh.

I'll be seeing the Little Bean in 1 1/2 weeks' time, and I seriously can't wait. That week, the Good Doctor says that we can probably see the nose and some other features. In that time, I'll be at the end of the 1st trimester, and can finally share news about the Little Bean with the whole world.

Little Bean, Alhamdulillah you're finally in me. I can't wait to see you again, even if it's only through wavy monochrome lines.

Stay safe in there, Little Bean. Mommy will see you again soon :)